Finding The Joy Again

So, last week you read all about this fabulous lesson I had to learn the hard way. What’s new? I tend to learn every lesson the hard way. It builds character. It makes stuff stick.

All jokes aside these last few weeks have been absolutely devastating. So hard I didn’t even want to continue my business anymore. A few times I thought to myself, “Maybe this is a sign. Maybe this isn’t a test of strength, creativity, or drive. Maybe, this truly is, a sign to walk away before it’s too late.” I tend to be someone who will handle everything internally. Throw my hair in a messy bun, put on my self-tanner, and head into the makeup room. I talked to very few about the situation. I didn’t feel excited and there was no joy when I started working on content.

I was ready to launch the new name, the same time I was releasing last week’s blog. I had spent as many hours as I physically could in 7 days, creating a new logo, searching trademarks, URLs, and social handles. It was exhausting. I picked one. It was just ok. But I was sick of feeling indifferent about something I was once so passionate about. Just days before that email, I created a video on the magazine page talking about it and I was RADIATING. I was absolutely glowing!

BUT, listen. We are BACK BABY!!!

I absolutely love the new direction of my business and the magazine! I love the name; it leaves the endless possibilities I have planned for the future. I feel the same excitement I had in 2019 when I first started and the desire I had when I created the idea of the magazine. We have already rebranded our social handles and logos. We are in the process of creating an entirely new and improved website that will also host the magazine and merchandise! (BONUS: there is an option for subscribers-only content too!!).After a really dark and sad few weeks, I am beyond ecstatic for the growth of Created by Kierst. Each branch will be a subset. For example, I finally made an Instagram makeup channel as others had requested makeup tutorials. Make sure to follow makeupbykierst on Instagram and stay tuned for the new website debut!!! I really can’t tell you how excited I am for this!!With all the growth I have planned and the major projects coming up, we are looking at starting an account for crowdfunding. It took me a long time to go public with this idea because I was worried about what others would say. I didn’t know what people would think. But my business means more to me than anyone’s opinion. When I realized that, I realized it didn’t matter if I created an account for crowdfunding and 50 people donated or 0 people donated. My job is to do everything I can to make this business, my absolute dream, a success. And damnit I will do that.

My friend text me the night before my birthday and said,
“It’s birthday eve.
What’s the one thing you learned this year
What’s the one thing you’re most proud of this year”

I sat and thought deeply about this response. Liv is one of the most important people in my life. She has always held a special place in my heart. But, through her sarcasm she always makes me think about topics like this. And my response shocked even myself. I said,
“One thing I learned –
It’s ok to be scared of emotions, especially when you feel them strongly. And you don’t have to push everyone away. Being vulnerable is ok.
One thing I’m proud of –
My constant determination to keep going. Whether that’s a personal, daily, internal battle, pulling myself out of a depression, or stumbling in business. Sometimes I’m sick of being the one that can always figure it out but at the end of the day, I always figure it out. If there’s something you can say about me it’s that when I put my mind to something, I’m not backing down.”

Liv responded with “You are relentless. It’s one of the many things I admire most about you.”

The other night I made a Facebook status that said, “One day I will be a household name. I’m too determined not to be.” And another friend commented,

“You will be!! You’re seriously so inspiring and hardworking!”

I hear the same few statements frequently.

“If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

“Your drive is so inspiring.”

“I love how big you dream.”

Those statements mean the world to me. They are what kept me from stopping when I said above that I thought this could be the end. My biggest takeaway from all of this – if you admire someone’s work, TELL THEM. If you think someone is doing a great job, tell them! You could be the person helping them as they are deciding if they should walk away or keep fighting.

And if you are the person debating walking away, remember WHY you started. Remember the joy you felt. Go watch some #HumpDayHustle episodes! All of this is why I started the series in the first place.

Thank you for believing in me and my journey!

all the love & espresso,

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